lucky2livealoha

Tomorrow is the end. Another end to a short, yet meaningful, chapter in my life. I leave my summer home of two and a half months and head back to Texas. As the day of my departure was drawing near, I wondered how I would feel during these last days. Would I be excited to be leaving and be reunited with Jeff in Texas? Would I be depressed and crying because I had no desire to leave? Would all of my feelings be put in a blender and be diced, spliced, and crushed all together? As I was laying on a hammock overlooking the majestic Lake Yajoa this past weekend, I felt torn. Part of me was so excited that in a few days I was going to get to see Jeff after being without him for two and a half months. That same part was forlorn that the next few days were probably going to feel like the longest ones of my life thus far, because of the anticipation. However, another part of me didn’t want to leave. I love it here in Honduras and love the Deaf here so much! I also felt that Honduras didn’t deserve that attitude I was starting to form about my last few days here. I wanted to cherish the time that I had left. While basking in the beauty of the lake and mountains cascading in the background, I felt a peace, the same kind of peace when I’m back home sitting on the rocks and listening/watching the ocean crash up against them. I felt God’s presence and knew that He’d help keep me in check these next few days.

Yesterday, Sunday, the Lord filled me with this indescribable joy. I just feel it rushing and coursing through my veins, and exuding through my fingertips! I really don’t know why I am so joyful. It is not because I’m happy to leave, I wish I could stay longer, but it’s a sense of peace and joy that everything will work out. This joy also originates from the love that I feel all around and the genuine spirits of those here, Jeff and Robin including. It all started yesterday at Iglesia de los Sordos (Church of the Deaf). Beforehand, Robin told me that she was going to preach about people’s lives being like flowers, and after I could do the craft with the Deaf and make the flowers that my mom taught me how to make. In preparation of the craft, I took a couple hours getting all of the craft materials ready and starting the beginning for each one of them. I had no idea how many to make, and Robin said that 15 would be a good number, so I made 16, just in case. It took all the way up to the time we got to Deaf church, 1:30 PM, for me to get the craft ready and it wasn’t the easiest thing. However, God blessed our time so much. It was a smaller group than normal, but it was a great group. We got to sit in a circle and have a closer, more intimate time with one another.

There were fourteen people who showed up (not including Jeff, Robin, and I). It was the perfect number for the events happening that day. During worship, Xiomara, one of the Deaf women, started crying unbeknownst to us. We discovered that she was overwhelmed with sadness because of the fighting going on between her family members in her home life. Because of the smaller number of people, we were able to all place our hands on her in a circle and pray for her. Robin was able to take this opportunity to explain to the Deaf that we can pray to God for Him to give us peace about the problems that may be in our lives. After that, we made the flower craft and had the perfect number, enough for all of them, Robin, and I (so I could make one as a demonstration). They turned out beautifully and even the guys were excited about it. At the end of the service, they put their hands all on me, and Amanda, the Deaf leader, prayed the most beautiful prayer for me; I wanted to cry. It was a prayer that went beyond words and came from her heart. I felt the love of the people there, and I will never forget that day. It’s like God energized me from church and let it keep coming for the rest of the day, even up to now. That night, some of our friends shared good news with us, that made our day even brighter! And to top it all off, Jeff cooked some delicious mango chicken whose mangos were on the brink of spoiling. He just made up the recipe and told us in response to our praises for his onolicious chicken that we can’t be afraid of trying to do new things. So true!

Now back to this joy that I’m feeling. I really don’t know how to explain it. It’s a joy that makes me excited for all that I am and had the opportunity of doing here in Honduras thus far. It’s a joy that makes me excited for what’s to come in my future with my job. It’s a joy that makes me excited about spending some quality time with Jeff. It’s a joy that derives from the pure love that I feel here from the people I have been able to spend time with here in Honduras. It’s a joy that revels in the hospitality of Jeff and Robin throughout the whole time that I was here. It’s this joy, when I think about all of the smiles and the sincerity that is behind each of them, that gives me this feeling. It’s this joy that is helping me now to live in the moment. Rather than looking to the future and my departure that is lingering ever so closely, it’s this joy that is having me live in the moment that I am living in now, because the now is beautiful. I’m about to head to Emile d’Cuire, the school where most of the deaf attend. I can’t wait to see the kids! Even though I’m sad that it’s my farewell to them, I just want to give them hugs and see their smiling faces one last time… for this summer anyways ☺.

I pray today that you all experience joy. Joy in what you are doing at this very moment!

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” -- NIV, 1 Corinthians 10:31

The future is something that I have been worrying about. It’s not something that I used to dwell over, but it’s a scary feeling. It’s the first time in my life that I am going to be truly independent and away from most of whom I love, but it’s okay. The Lord repeatedly demonstrates how He rewards those who trust in Him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” --NIV, Romans 15:13

Hola to all those who are reading this now. It's been so busy with one team coming in, then one prep week, then a new team coming in! It's been hard to keep up with this blog, but it's been through the prayers and support from all of you that help keep me accountable. It is YOU who helps to contribute to this beautiful ministry that I'm blessed to be a part of. I'm sorry that I haven't really explained about my experiences in the villages, or even just a brief overview. I'll get to that in my next entry, but there are things happening by the grace of God that I feel that He wants me to share with you.

I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be in Honduras and be blessed through working with the Deaf here. It is because of them that I get the strength to endure and push through whatever comes my way. However, through all of the sweat and tears, I feel that one of the main support systems that I've been lucky to establish here in Honduras is the core team of Signs of Love. Robin and Jeff have been and are blessings to my life in so many ways. They're not perfect, but they teach me a lot and are great examples of what God can do in people's lives. The four other ladies, Lyndsey, Jen, Elise, and Ryley are amazing ladies with many different talents and gifts. We make a great team and through their words of encouragement and words of struggles, I learn from them every day. This bond that we have reminds me of the South Russell leadership family that we established during the two years that I was a Community Leader at Baylor University. God blesses us with different gifts, different personalities, and different struggles that helps me to gain perspective on my own life and everything that is happening around me.

My experiences in Honduras this summer have been different from any of the other times that I have visited. The past couple times when I went with Baylor two and three years ago, it was from the team's perspective and it was definitely an experience defined by "culture shock" and love from the Deaf Hondurans that touched my heart in such a significant way. God was teaching me about true love and how the least of these are actually the greatest. "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me,'" Matthew 25:40. However, when I returned to Honduras this summer, I still feel the same love for the deaf here and I recognize the pain and suffering that they have to endure. For the past couple times I was here, God taught me a lot about how much I was thankful for and about the beauty of the Deaf here. This time... it's different. I feel like I see God's love, provision, and beauty through this experience, but I'm realizing that God brought me here this summer for a bigger purpose. He's teaching me things that I would never have dreamed of, but are necessary for my spiritual growth. It's crazy how He always seems to know what we need, and provides accordingly.

The way my life has been panning out, I had the mindset that there were no major problems and everything was going to work out with not too much pain. Boy was I wrong! Since I've been here, all the Signs of Love leaders who are women have broken down to tears at some point within the past couple weeks. There was even one time when I was at a point where I thought about leaving a little earlier to escape this brokenness inside. I'm sure that the other ladies who are leaders here this summer can attest how this journey has not been an easy one. As the night came to an end (two Mondays ago), one of us was at the point where she felt like she had nothing left and was so drained and baffled as to how she was going to be able to persevere for the next day. However, God has been chipping away at our imperfections and weaknesses, helping us to learn and grow in so many ways this month. God has been humbling us through our actions graciously serving the teams and through putting us in predicaments where we can’t help but give all the control up to Him. We’ve been SO busy, with planning and executing village programs, a Deaf leadership training program, different aspects of camp, inservice Deaf education tutorials, and evaluations on new villages. We wouldn’t have successfully gotten through all of this if it wasn’t for Him.

God has also stressed the importance of building a closer relationship with Him. Before coming here to Honduras, I was feeling a little dry in a sense where my faith wasn’t growing, and I was becoming lazy at times. I also have recently started a relationship with a wonderful guy, Jeff. We’ve only been together for a little more than a couple months before I left, and even though it’s been hard being away from him for two and a half months, I feel like God was gradually showing me another purpose for me to be away from it all. He wanted me to strengthen my relationship with Him before I did so with another person. I remember back in my church youth group days, we learned about how being in a relationship with Christ is hard work and is a lifelong commitment. However, when you’re in a relationship with someone else (especially when you’re married), your commitments change, and if your relationship with Christ isn’t where you want it to be, it’ll be even harder to uphold this ideal relationship if it wasn’t strong to begin with. I’m not saying that my relationship with Christ is perfect, it is FAR from that. However, I think that he was just trying to keep me accountable for my decisions and actions. It’s my turn to take some initiative.

Another interesting observation as I am reflecting on this summer is how all of my friends back home seem to be enjoying life and partying as I am here alone, well not alone, but distant from a lot of people I love. However, I would never take this time back for anything. I love and miss my friends back home, but I know that Christ is helping me to keep accountable by providing me the opportunity to come to Honduras. I suppose that it was my decision to come here instead of heading back home, but it was God who was and is in control and He has blessed me in so many ways! God provides us with choices because He loves us. He doesn’t want us to stumble and fall, but sometimes we do and He picks us back up again. It’s during the times that we don’t stumble, the times that we are being obedient to Him, that He continues to bless us in different ways.

This experience so far has been rough. I’ve been broken, probably cried more this past couple months than I have in about the past five years of my life. However, it’s these times that I felt broken and the succeeding outcome that teaches me about God’s power and love. He’s worked everything according to His perfect plan for our lives. He has helped me see others for who they are… others with their strengths, their faults, their blessings, their struggles… and through it all, I love them and more importantly, God loves them. I’ve seen myself and have battled with a few inner demons myself, but God has definitely been keeping me in check, and it’s been aweFULL ☺.

I apologize now for publishing the previous one so much later than when I wrote it. It's partially due to the problem that I go through whenever trying to keep up with journal-type entries and partially due to the busyness that has ensued over the past couple weeks due to a team coming down to work with Signs of Love. This one is a week late too, so I guess this has become a kind a trend, but hopefully it won't be as busy since the team left. Last Friday (25 Junio), a team from California who has close ties with Robin brought a team of thirteen people to work with Signs of Love. Though group is large in quantity, their hearts for the Deaf in Honduras seem to overwhelm their numbers. They are unique people who have come together to love you by loving others. Yesterday at church, an amazing occurrence took place and it was evident that it was because of God's perfect plan.

On Saturday, we were supposed to take the group of thirteen to a newer village that is near the pineapple fields over an hour outside of La Ceiba. However, weather did not permit, so instead of going out to the village all pumped, we had to stay inside and plan skits or paint a room in the mission house. We planned a few funny skits for entertainment purposes and we had to also plan a skit to correlate to Robin's sermon on Sunday. Even though there was some downtime and it seemed like a long and tedious process, Elise, Jen, Lyndsey, a few of the California girls (Elle, Cassie, & Cassie), and I finally finished the skit. The skit stressed the importance of not lying, gossiping, and hating others (some things that the Deaf could relate to in their daily lives). It was a slow day for the most part, but we persevered and in the end, was a pretty productive day, more than we realized.

As the California team went on a language immersion experience with Amanda and Orlan (a couple of the Deaf Honduran leaders) Lyndsey, Jen, Elise, and I headed to Espresso Americano to bask in the wonderful air-conditioned coffee shop and delicious Cafe de Granitas. On that upcoming Tuesday, we were heading to Plan de Flores, a new village that we haven't been to, and while the team would be playing with the children, the four of us would be teaching their teacher how to teach Deaf kids. We were unsure of the students' level of comprehension, and the teacher's, so we buckled down and discussed all of the points that we thought were important to stress when teaching reading, math, vocabulary, and teaching in general. We didn't expect to finish then, but within a couple hours, despite all the digressed conversations we had, we seemed to finish our planning. It was beautiful how God brought us all together and that we were so in sync with one another. We each brought different strengths to the table, and together we created a super-person! While we were heading back to the mission house, we joked about working together to help start Signs of Love Peru, and we're actually considering it now...only if it's in God's will, time will tell.

After lunch, we headed to Deaf church where the deaf got to meet the "gringos" (a.k.a. the California team), who also is a great financial supporter for Signs of Love. Robin preached a sermon on the attitude of the Pharisees and how many would look holy and go through the routine, but inside their hearts were not right with God. Then came the time for the skit that we were practicing for hours the previous day. It seemed to mesh perfectly with Robin's message, and it all came through in the end. Robin summed it up for the Deaf, and it was like a light bulb lit up in their heads because I've never seen them connect and react to a sermon like that before. This unperceived reaction from them led Robin to call people up who felt that they were like the "Pharisees" and wanted to be prayed for. A surprising amount of people went up, and each got to be prayed for by a member of the team. It was the most amazing thing! God was working in and around us. Later, Robin admitted to us that she had a different sermon planned but while she was up there, God impressed the message on her heart that she ended up sharing. Also, she wasn't planning on asking the Deaf to come forward for prayer, God was telling her to do so, but she was struggling with Him for fear of no one coming up and the potentially embarrassing outcome that could ensue. However, she followed the Lord and was blessed for it.

Isn't it amazing how God works in us, through us? Sometimes, we have no idea why God wants us to do the things that we do. But in the end, looking back on what has happened, we can see the beautiful picture that he was trying to create. We begin to appreciate the process of the artist as well as the finished product. The week before, a youth pastor from Texas named Kyle preached about God's love for us. He referred to his one-year-old daughter whom he loves with all his heart. He buys her toys and things that will help her, because he knows what's best for her. Even though she may sometimes go for the things that won't help her, such as the remote or cell phone, he still loves her and helps to pick her up when she falls. The same goes for the relationship between the Lord and us. We make mistakes, we sin, and we fall. But God loves us so much that He wants us to rely on Him and ask Him for help when we fall. There are many times when God tries to tell us what is best for our lives, but we don't listen to his advice. We don't realize that God knows what's best for us, and if we let Him work through us, He will bless us tremendously! Even though we stumble or don't pick what God's "ultimate plan" is for our lives, He still has control of the strings and will use us to create something beautiful in the end. It's hard for us humans to do, give up control of our lives. I'm even guilty of it. We live in a world where we gain a certain level of comfort based on our feelings of control in our lives. However, we need to ask God to help us to remember to trust in Him and His plan for our lives.
We may not realize it now, but He really does know what's best.

When reflecting on life, think about the precedents that directed you towards the path that you are on today. It's crazy how God orchestrates each and every one of our lives so perfectly, and what He blesses us with along the way. I say this now because this past Monday, I just got a job teaching at Texas School for the Deaf in the Special Needs Department in Austin. If you asked me in high school, during my time at Baylor University, or even a couple months ago, I would have thought that teaching there would be a great opportunity and experience, but something that would have been out of my league. As I reflect on all of the major turning points in my life that adds a new chapter to my story, I realize how much God has blessed me and has utilized my past experiences to help me be the person that I am today.

I guess it would make more sense if I start from the beginning, then hopefully you can see how each little, seemingly insignificant experience in my life has been added to my tool belt of knowledge that I still use today. Don't worry, this won't be a novel or anything. Looking back on the different extracurricular activities that my parents enrolled me in and encouraged me to experience, I was never "the best" at anything. If I was in a crowd of kids, I wouldn't have been "that child" who stood out from the rest because I was outstanding. Before I became interested in sports, during Pre-K and elementary school, my parents enrolled me in activities such as Drill Team Hawaii (a dance team), gymnastics, ballet, voice lessons, theatre, and a few other random groups. Drill Team was my life until the fourth grade. My younger sister Kelly was the more flexible, natural dancer who didn't need to work as hard as me to be successful at dancing. It was a little harder for me to be flexible and nail some of the harder kicks, flips, and splits. However, I was a determined girl and would practice my butt off to the point that when it came time for performances, I would shine just as much as she did. It wasn't easy though. It was the same for theatre. It took me a few years before I could land a leading role as Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz."

This internal struggle seemed to be the ongoing trend for me, even now. I'm not saying that God has cursed me with no skill or talent, it is actually the opposite. I feel like God has actually blessed me to be able to be adequate at many things that I tried, but He helped me excel at the things that I was passionate about and worked hard to accomplish. It seems like God wanted me to make the effort, and then after time and work, He fit all the pieces of the puzzle together so that I could see the clear picture of what He has before me. For sports, it was the same way. I was never the best, and was never the coach's favorite where I could get starting time for a sport in every game, regardless on how well or poor my performance was from the previous match. I was quick, and had a lot of heart. Even as I practiced and my skills progressed, it still was a struggle, and that may be a reason why at times, I feel like I always have to prove myself to others. I know that I should only have to prove myself to God, but there are times when I struggle, because of how other people view my abilities. I remember in high school that it was a constant challenge, to give more than 100% to get playing time or to start a match, and it was a weekly battle that I had to face. I think that the closest I got to excelling to the top was through my running. Cross country was the sport that I seemed to excel at, even when I started with no experience as a freshman. I think it had a lot to do with the perseverance involved, that helped me to succeed at the sport. However, despite all of the extra practices and training that I committed, I was naive in understanding the talent that I was blessed with. It was the same in the classroom, I was always in the higher level classes and got mostly A's, but I was never the smartest.

Even though it seemed like I would never "stand out," it was the drive and the opportunities that God blessed me with that helped me to succeed beyond levels that I can imagine. I was able to be a pretty well-rounded student by the time I graduated high school. According to Mr. T, my resume seemed pretty impressive with the leadership positions, academic achievements, and extracurricular activities in which I participated. The same goes for college. I was never the best at American Sign Language, and some of my professors seemed to pick on me to the point where I was planning on changing my major. But God has blessed me with so much and has given me the strength to persevere to where I am standing today. Everything was part of His plan. It was all that practicing and dancing as a child that helped me to be more coordinated in sports later on in life. Who knew I would be so obsessed with soccer now and in college would usually be the only girl playing with the boys? Many of who are my friends that I connected with since they were from a different culture than the United States as well. Who knew that my theatre days helped me to be more expressive in certain situations and that memorizing all of those lines helped me to get by with A's and B's in my classes in secondary and collegiate levels? I admit, I could have focused more time on studying, but then that time was used to build relationships with others and participate in other activities. I was one of those students who would almost always start studying the day before the test (something that my mom frowned upon). Who knew that I would have ended up in Texas? I distinctly remember telling my mom that I would go anywhere for college, except the Mid-West and Texas. Not that I had anything against these places, but growing up surround by ocean, I wanted some kind of sea body within a reasonable distance from wherever I resided. It was definitely God who touched my heart and changed my direction of my concentration from architecture and computer programming in high school, to Deaf Education in college. Who knew that in Texas, where I had no intention of staying post-graduation, I would find someone whom I love and totally change what I want in my life? God knew.

There are certain things that make me feel vulnerable, so I usually don't share it with other people. Now that it's after the fact, I feel a little better about it, but it was still a struggle that took me a while to overcome. In college, I was picked on and given a lot of negative feedback about my teaching and my signing ability to the point where I questioned God as to why He led me in this direction in the first place. What did He want me to get from all this? I was considering changing my major because I have a passion for different cultures and traveling, so I was leaning more towards missions. However, due to Baylor's expensive fees, I decided to persevere through my internal struggles and see what would happen post-graduation. During my internship my senior year, I found out that I loved working with the special needs children and fell in love with the program at TSD (Texas School for the Deaf).

Throughout my life, there have been instances where I have "put all of my eggs in one basket," and trusted that God would work everything out. I feel that God has blessed me a lot... I KNOW that He has. During the time in my life when I had to decide on which college to attend, Baylor University was the only school that I applied to. When I was in middle school and high school, I was very interested in computer design and architecture. My life changed when I went to a church camp before my senior year of high school. The theme for the week went along the lines of reaching those who seem to be overlooked, and one day they told us that only about 3% of Deaf Americans know Christ. I felt very convicted that many of us take this awareness for granted, and God touched my heart. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted to work with the Deaf, despite my lack of previous ties. While researching on an online college search engine, Baylor University was the only school that popped up that was a Christian school offering a program involving American Sign Language. Maybe it was a mixture of laziness and a trust in God, but that was the only school I applied to. Now I look back at my four years of Baylor and am amazed at the many blessings and opportunities that He has given me that has radically rocked my world. If I didn't go to Baylor, I probably wouldn't be here in Honduras at this very moment. Another instance of me utilizing only one basket is my recent search for a job. I had quite a few options to consider involving my ambiguous future, but my first option was finding a job, especially one near Jeff. Texas School for the Deaf is one of the more distinguished schools for the Deaf and any Deaf Ed. teacher would love a job there. It is near to impossible for people to land a teaching job right out of their undergrad. However, I discovered that in the department that I wanted to work in, there were three teaching positions available, so it would be prime time for me to go for it and apply! This was the only job I sincerely wanted in that area, and it was a long process, but I completed my requirements and had to give everything up to God. Even when things seemed to get more complicated with me being here in Honduras, God worked it out and gave me opportunities to complete the interview and other aspects of the application process. Yet again, God has blessed me with a job this upcoming fall in the special needs department at TSD. God is SO good! He had opportunities to guide me in a different direction, but He has always provided and taken care of things.

God has blessed me and provided me with many opportunities. I know that it's because of Him that I am where I am today. However, I wonder if my choices in life, or lack of action, is the ultimate will of what God wants in my life. I know that God gives us choices, and regardless if it's the one He truly wants for us or the option He gives us, He uses the situation to work in us and with us. I know that sometimes, it's easy to miss the mark, we often get close, but only on occasion do we hit the bull's eye. I know that anything that is truly against God's will will not happen and new doors will open instead. I pray that I'm not missing the mark by "putting my eggs all in one basket." I don't want to just put my all into one basket, but I want to put them all into "God's basket." Only time will tell...

Sorry that it's been a while since my last entry. It has been quite an eventful, yet chill, week (in reference to 10-17 June). Robin and Jeff left for Texas for a week, leaving me to care for their lovely 13-year old Honduran daughter (and yes, she's deaf). I went with Amanda and Orlan to the special needs school and also to a deaf girl's house in a more poverty-filled area of the city. Jeff and Robin have returned safely from Texas, and today was the first day we started going to the villages to do the language program there (we went to Tosca today...but that's for a later story).

What I really wanted to share with you guys happened a little less than two weeks ago. My friend Lauren got engaged to a great guy named Blair, and we got to take part in this special occasion!! It all started because Blair works with an after school program with kids in Copan (a smaller town than Ceiba and more inland), and Lauren was visiting for a while. She wanted to visit Robin and Signs of Love, so they decided to stop by for a couple-day visit with some friends. Anyways, getting to my point, "God's Perfect Timing," Blair called Robin about a week before they visited to inform us that he wanted to propose to Lauren when they visited La Ceiba. He says that it was because Robin started Signs of Love that he and Lauren met in the first place. She worked on a team with me a couple years ago, and after went to a Honduras benefit that Blair was helping plan. He felt that La Ceiba would be the perfect place to propose since this is where Lauren came while she was here in Honduras. He was thinking more of a beach surprise, but there was this place up the river called the Jungle River Lodge that is simply beautiful! Being the girls that we are, Robin and I are thrilled and excited to facilitate him in any way.

Four of them arrive in La Ceiba on Monday evening and stay at the Signs of Love mission house. Early the next morning, Jeff has "testosterone time" with the two guys, but that's when Jeff and I take the two guys to the Jungle River Lodge so Blair can check out the place. It was absolutely perfect. We gave him some ideas and let him ruminate over it throughout the day. After working on funny skits for camp, Jeff and Robin took a couple of them to get our lunch while the rest of us waited at the mission house, including Lauren. After they got back, we headed to the Jungle River Lodge to go swimming. That's definitely one of my favorite spots to go to in La Ceiba. Imagine standing on massive rocks overlooking the clear river with occasional rapids. The river is blanketed by rocks and lush, green mountains that cascade to the horizon. It's definitely a place where I sense God's presence every time we get an opportunity to visit that area. It is the four of them and me who go, since Jeff and Robin were leaving for Texas the next day, so they had errands to take care of before their departure.

As we were basking in the beauty surrounding us, the clouds in the distance creep closer to us until their presence is known and an occasional drizzle is present. Blair and I stealthily discuss where he wants everything to happen so we can set up the rose petals and such while he distracts Lauren. As the sound of thunder clamors its way towards us, I give Blair a doubting look, waiting for the sign that he was going to save this momentous occasion for another day... but he kept a calm, hopeful demeanor and the plan stuck. As 17:00 came and left, Jeff, Robin, and Tenisha arrived with the roses, but by then the sky was a darker gray and did not look promising at all. It started raining, harder, and Blair still didn't give a signal that he was going to postpone the proposal or do it sooner. Nope, he stuck with the time that he was shooting for, 17:30. With doubt filling all of our minds and Lauren wondering why we haven't left yet, Blair pulls her aside to the edge of one of smaller ledges protruding out towards the river to talk with her and pray. It stopped raining, so Robin and I quickly set up the rose petals and I wrote on the rocks with chalk the message that he wanted to relay. We then all rushed off to hide, and not too quietly might I add. I got my Canon Rebel out and started clicking away. As Blair and Lauren turned around, she was in utter shock and surprise that "the moment" had arrived where she would agree to commit herself to Blair. The joy and love exuded from their faces and drowned out all sounds around them, even me with the loudly clicking camera. The sky cleared up and the sunset was visible in the background. It was too perfect.

I feel that often times, we do doubt what God is planning for our future, especially when things seem to be going wrong and all signs seem to point to "NO." However, nothing is impossible with God, right? I have never witnessed a proposal before and felt so blessed to have witnessed this sacred, special moment for my two wonderful friends. I know that God is working in their lives in many ways and they will truly be blessed! God always seems to work things out, even when people say otherwise. It may not be what you expected, but in the end, it is just as beautyFULL.

Love God. Embrace beauty. Live life to the fullest.