J.O.Y. --- Just On Yahweh

Tomorrow is the end. Another end to a short, yet meaningful, chapter in my life. I leave my summer home of two and a half months and head back to Texas. As the day of my departure was drawing near, I wondered how I would feel during these last days. Would I be excited to be leaving and be reunited with Jeff in Texas? Would I be depressed and crying because I had no desire to leave? Would all of my feelings be put in a blender and be diced, spliced, and crushed all together? As I was laying on a hammock overlooking the majestic Lake Yajoa this past weekend, I felt torn. Part of me was so excited that in a few days I was going to get to see Jeff after being without him for two and a half months. That same part was forlorn that the next few days were probably going to feel like the longest ones of my life thus far, because of the anticipation. However, another part of me didn’t want to leave. I love it here in Honduras and love the Deaf here so much! I also felt that Honduras didn’t deserve that attitude I was starting to form about my last few days here. I wanted to cherish the time that I had left. While basking in the beauty of the lake and mountains cascading in the background, I felt a peace, the same kind of peace when I’m back home sitting on the rocks and listening/watching the ocean crash up against them. I felt God’s presence and knew that He’d help keep me in check these next few days.

Yesterday, Sunday, the Lord filled me with this indescribable joy. I just feel it rushing and coursing through my veins, and exuding through my fingertips! I really don’t know why I am so joyful. It is not because I’m happy to leave, I wish I could stay longer, but it’s a sense of peace and joy that everything will work out. This joy also originates from the love that I feel all around and the genuine spirits of those here, Jeff and Robin including. It all started yesterday at Iglesia de los Sordos (Church of the Deaf). Beforehand, Robin told me that she was going to preach about people’s lives being like flowers, and after I could do the craft with the Deaf and make the flowers that my mom taught me how to make. In preparation of the craft, I took a couple hours getting all of the craft materials ready and starting the beginning for each one of them. I had no idea how many to make, and Robin said that 15 would be a good number, so I made 16, just in case. It took all the way up to the time we got to Deaf church, 1:30 PM, for me to get the craft ready and it wasn’t the easiest thing. However, God blessed our time so much. It was a smaller group than normal, but it was a great group. We got to sit in a circle and have a closer, more intimate time with one another.

There were fourteen people who showed up (not including Jeff, Robin, and I). It was the perfect number for the events happening that day. During worship, Xiomara, one of the Deaf women, started crying unbeknownst to us. We discovered that she was overwhelmed with sadness because of the fighting going on between her family members in her home life. Because of the smaller number of people, we were able to all place our hands on her in a circle and pray for her. Robin was able to take this opportunity to explain to the Deaf that we can pray to God for Him to give us peace about the problems that may be in our lives. After that, we made the flower craft and had the perfect number, enough for all of them, Robin, and I (so I could make one as a demonstration). They turned out beautifully and even the guys were excited about it. At the end of the service, they put their hands all on me, and Amanda, the Deaf leader, prayed the most beautiful prayer for me; I wanted to cry. It was a prayer that went beyond words and came from her heart. I felt the love of the people there, and I will never forget that day. It’s like God energized me from church and let it keep coming for the rest of the day, even up to now. That night, some of our friends shared good news with us, that made our day even brighter! And to top it all off, Jeff cooked some delicious mango chicken whose mangos were on the brink of spoiling. He just made up the recipe and told us in response to our praises for his onolicious chicken that we can’t be afraid of trying to do new things. So true!

Now back to this joy that I’m feeling. I really don’t know how to explain it. It’s a joy that makes me excited for all that I am and had the opportunity of doing here in Honduras thus far. It’s a joy that makes me excited for what’s to come in my future with my job. It’s a joy that makes me excited about spending some quality time with Jeff. It’s a joy that derives from the pure love that I feel here from the people I have been able to spend time with here in Honduras. It’s a joy that revels in the hospitality of Jeff and Robin throughout the whole time that I was here. It’s this joy, when I think about all of the smiles and the sincerity that is behind each of them, that gives me this feeling. It’s this joy that is helping me now to live in the moment. Rather than looking to the future and my departure that is lingering ever so closely, it’s this joy that is having me live in the moment that I am living in now, because the now is beautiful. I’m about to head to Emile d’Cuire, the school where most of the deaf attend. I can’t wait to see the kids! Even though I’m sad that it’s my farewell to them, I just want to give them hugs and see their smiling faces one last time… for this summer anyways ☺.

I pray today that you all experience joy. Joy in what you are doing at this very moment!

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” -- NIV, 1 Corinthians 10:31

The future is something that I have been worrying about. It’s not something that I used to dwell over, but it’s a scary feeling. It’s the first time in my life that I am going to be truly independent and away from most of whom I love, but it’s okay. The Lord repeatedly demonstrates how He rewards those who trust in Him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” --NIV, Romans 15:13